One of the many hotels in Cape Town

Yes, hotels in Cape Town trump or can compete with any of the world’s best hotels. Western Cape has so many options in terms of luxurious hotels and safari lodges, but here in Cape Town we can beat any hotel on earth. What on earth makes me say this? Haven’t I heard of the Ritz in New York City or the Langham in London? But did you know that most of the world’s best hotels are actually to be found right here in Cape Town and the rest of the province? When last could you see wild buffalo roaming outside the Imperial Hotel in Tokyo? I bet you that you can’t get the same sense of friendliness in the Trump Towers hotels that you can get in a Cape Town hotel!

If luxury with a sense of hospitality is what you are after, you need to come to Cape Town. There is no other place in the world that can offer you renowned African hospitality like we can in our hotels. Western Cape hotels are not only stunning, but there is an option for every price bracket. From Lizwe’s Guest House in Guguletu (where you find the best township atmosphere and cooking that money can buy), to the Twelve Apostles Hotel and Spa just off Chapman’s Peak (this is really the height of discerning quality), Cape Town hotels can’t be beaten.

If a view of the sea is your thing, why not try the Table Bay hotel, which overlooks the harbour and has ample space for swinging cats, swinging your newly-wedded partner or just swinging yourself around in the fantastically decorated rooms.

So when considering a holiday, don’t pick a fancy but dull hotel in another bland city, come to a Cape Town hotel. Western Cape hotels can’t be beaten!

Wow, animals.

So, you want to see lions kill a zebra and pretend you’re the king hunter by getting a close-up photo. But which Safari tours enable you to see the animals, guaranteed, and not just some lame buck and a few rocks that look like rhinos, but aren’t?

Well, wrong attitude, for a start. Wrong actions as well.

South Africa is a wildlife kingdom, but the animals are protected in a manner which still allows them to roam free as close to as possible to their natural habitat while still allowing the tourists the chance to be awed by their magnificence. The main point here is that the wild animals do not perform as you wish just because you happen to have a car or a bakkie. They are wild, and will do so as they please. Sometimes you get lucky, but most of the time just being in the presence of such abundant wildlife can be awe-inspiring. If you are only interested in the ‘big five’ you’re destined to miss out on the more obscure and hidden pleasures of the Safari tours. Rather go to a zoo if all you want is to tick off the biggest animals in the guidebook.

Just because you happen to be surrounded by metal, doesn’t mean that this gives you the power to shout, throw things, or worse, get out of your car to touch the animals. A bad attitude and no respect for the situation will get you as much grief from the locals as getting out of your car will get from the animals.

Safari tours usually have restrictions on what you can and can’t do while inside the vehicle, but if you happen to be self-driving, please be vigilant and note down any wrong-doings by unlicensed or ill-behaved Safari tours or the tourists. Protection of the wildlife takes cooperation.

down the rabbit hole.

The time is soon. Soon, my friends I will be free from the vile clutches of the city. Free from its noise, angry people and strange smells. The ‘burbs await me. The tranquil country life of Kenilworth and its well deserved peaceful sights and sounds are my ultimate rewards for having lived a life of city-dwelling. I have worked too hard in my life to not allow myself the luxury of a two-bedroom, two-gardened paradise.

I won’t mince words. Five years of living in the city is enough. It. Is. Enough! I am not willing to spend my full salary on a luxury domicile within the walls of this emerald city. No sir! The same grand home can be found a scant fifteen minutes outside of ‘Die Midde Kaap’ and at a fraction of the price. A fraction! I have asked many, many curious passerby’s to their proclivity of residential bliss. Many note that living in Cape Town Central IS the bee’s knees. They have not lived here long enough then.

Do you enjoy being woken up at night due to the shrill ring of yet another car alarm? Then town central is for you. How would you like the screams of the homeless echoing in your ears on a warm summer’s night? Perhaps you prefer the glimmering lights of the city penetrating your vulnerable eyeballs at all hours. But I do not and it is enough!

I am leaving the city for good. Little Miss Sunshine and I are hopping on the suburban bandwagon and have chosen our rightful place in the evergreen roads of Claremont/Newlands/Kenilworth. We spent many months making this decision. As the number one reason for living in town is transport. Being seven minutes away from work is a bonus. Not just a bonus but an amazing windfall which can make me beam with happiness every day.

The irony of my situation is a triumph of collective absurdities. Leave Cape Town central and arrive home an hour after work. Live inside the Town and suffer the harsh and brutal indignities that follow any cost-price dweller. No tour in Cape Town is complete without having seen the inside of my tiny apartment! One bedroom, one tiny kitchen and one cramped bathroom are on the top of each and every high-fashion list, I can promise you that. I leave in May. I won’t be back.

A little post-weekend humour...

This is the beginning of a wonderful weekend. It’s fun to have plans. The weekend is a time for ultimate relaxation and rest, and spending of course. I have to shop in Cape Town, specifically Canal Walk, purchase a new game for myself, view a table, drive to Claremont and possibly open a new bank account plus much, much more. Relaxation is a wistful affair which I remain ever optimistic about. One of the highlights of my weekend endeavours will be the viewing of a car with my gorgeous girlfriend. We plan to purchase it, right after we move to a better part of Cape Town that is.

I’m tired of the wind and the weather blowing me off my bike on every turn. One day, it will blow me into an oncoming car and boom! That will be the end of that. No more. It ends now with the acquisition of a brand new vehicle. Times will be tough as they always are, yet it will not stop me from realising my dreams of a road trip into the great unknown (namely the Garden Route). I am not going to waste anymore time here folks. I am going to succeed in my goals. It’s fun to have ambition.

Recovery room with a view

There are many reasons to visit the Mother City. We have the Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens, a whole host of incredible beaches, the Waterfront, Table Mountain, the Constantia wine route, a penguin colony, antique stores aplenty, colourful street performers, a laughably good exchange rate and the bulk of South Africa’s worthwhile restaurants and dining establishments (to name but a few). In light of all of this, it would seem strange that many people from around the globe come to Cape Town expressly to take advantage our medical establishments, doctors and rehabilitation facilities, yet they do.

Medical tourism is becoming a booming trade. Places like Panama, Brazil, Malaysia, Costa Rica and India have been tapping this particular vein for a number of years, and it seems South Africa is pretty keen to join the party. (For the uninitiated: the term ‘medical tourism’ relates to a branch of the travelling industry that allows foreigners to combine affordable plastic- or reconstructive surgery with pre- and post-operative forays around the country).

Not a big fan of gratuitous elective plastic surgery myself, I can still understand why foreigners name South Africa as a preferred medical tourism destination. Let’s tick the relevant points, shall we? We have:

1. A favourable exchange rate (my aunt and uncle from America recently had dental work done in Cape Town and their whole trip, including flights, transport, accommodation and the actual cost of the procedures came to around four times less than they would’ve paid for the same treatment in California).
2. High quality medical care facilities.
3. World renowned surgeons and physicians (remember the whole heart transplant thing?).
4. Incredibly scenic surrounding in which to recuperate.
5. Reputable establishments that facilitate medical tourism trips. This includes everything from flights to airport transfers, consultations with surgeons, the actual surgery, a recuperation period in the locale of your choice, as well as pre- and post-operative trips around sunny South Africa.

Basically what you’re looking at is First World health care at Third World prices. What’s not to love about that? Accommodation venues include the likes of five star Constantia and Camps Bay hotels, as well as the beautiful Arabella Sheraton. After your surgery, you can then decide whether you would like to go on a tour of the Winelands, enjoy a Big Five Safari tour or participate in a thorough exploration of the country’s most illustrious golf courses. South Africa is quite literally your oyster (especially if you happen to be around Knysna while to Oyster Festival is underway).

So, there you have it – one more reason to include Cape Town in your global itinerary.

Running from change

This is the start of Christmas. Our office braai begins in T-minus two hours and fourteen minutes. I have been looking forward to this particular braai for over two weeks, counting the days and hours as they slowly rolled by. We have chosen a forest that I hope will not be too windy, as the week has been full of the usual Cape Town summer gales which my scooter shows no love towards. My silly hat is ready and my liver is charged, aching to be poisoned by fine wines and ciders.

It has been a tumultuous time for Cape Town recently. Another wave of protests sparked intense hostilities from the taxi drivers, griping about being left out of the governments new, cheaper transportation plans. What did they expect though? Every day I see plenty of insane drivers careening over the road like drunken fools. Sure, they get people to their jobs on time but in their haste to become the kings of the road, they have turned into parodies and are avoided by other drivers as their dangerous swerving knocks us out of their pathways. Heed them no lamentations, this is exactly what was needed and with some hope, this will curb their reckless behaviour.

T minus ten minutes now… Safari Tours have nothing on the excursion planned for us.

try climbing that.

The first time I arrived at the mother city, I went on many Cape Town tours around the city. First on my list was to see the renowned table cloth hanging over the illustrious pride of Cape Town…Table Mountain. Those in the know…scientists to be precise, explain the table cloth that often hangs over the mountain as the result due to the moisture-laden south-Easter that blows against Table Mountain from over False Bay. At a height of approximately 900 meters, the winds reach the colder layers of air and then thick clouds form. These clouds roll over the mountain and down towards the City Bowl. When the clouds reach the warmer, lower air layers and dissolve once more, the unmistakable table cloth forms. I sat and marveled in silence at the magical sight before me. Some minutes later, I ventured over to view the lions face on the equally popular Lion’s Head.

My definition of frustration was redefined because as intent as I was on seeing the proverbial lion on the other portion of the mountain, I just could not see it!

Let it also be known that as a youngster in the company of other youngsters who constantly oohed and aahed at the 3D pictures that came free with moms purchase of the YOU magazine, I was similarly vexed when I could not see the “flower” or whatever object that I was meant to see. To this very day, I still cannot see the “dolphins swimming in a circle” in that chain email picture of a man and a woman hugging affectionately. Nor can I see the image of the young lady within the image of an aging woman. Despite my friend/tour guide’s mild insistence, patient and then impatient directions of “Just relax, close your eyes and then open them again, you’ll see it”. I scratched off Lion’s Head as one of those things because I simply could not see it.
A few weeks later as a Capetonian and no longer a tourist, I was flat hunting in a suburb alongside Lions Head. Walking up towards the address of the flat, it formed before my eyes in a way only fitting of unexpected things. I, all of a sudden, saw the face of the lion on Lions Head! It was crouched up in all its glory, just as everyone else had described it. My delight in finally seeing it came out in the form of a chuckle and then a squeal that must have surely been interpreted as either drunk or high behavior, judging by the look the madam driving into her drive way, shot at me.

I am now a resident at the said flat. Elsewhere in South Africa, many others will drive off from their Tuscan villa inspired townhouse/flat , facing hundreds of rows of other “villas” that stretch as far as the eye can see. I on the other hand, will delight in the beauty and splendour of Cape Town’s most famous landmarks (Table Mountain, Lion’s Head and Signal Hill) that are situated practically at my door step.

All is quiet on the western front

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away there was a magical valley that lay where two rivers converged. Once home to large herds of elephant, the land was divided by the king and given to farmers to till. Soon enough the fertile soil started to sprout vines heavy with fruit. The farmers harvested the fruit and distilled it to a liquid that, when imbibed, made the drinker joyous and took away all self-doubt.

Sounds like a fairytale, right? Not quite. The Franschhoek Valley is one of the most fertile winegrowing regions in South Africa. In 1688 land was granted to a group of French Huguenot refugees by the Dutch government in a valley called Olifantshoek (“Elephant’s Corner”), so named because of the vast herds of elephants that populated the area. This fertile piece of land was subsequently renamed Franschhoek (“French Corner”) and many of the settlers named their farms after the areas in France from which they came. The mild weather of this fertile valley was similar to that of the wine producing regions of France and they set out to recreate the lush vineyards back home. The rest, as they say, is history.

Drive into the town of Franschhoek today and you’ll soon realise why it is called South Africa’s gourmet capital. The main street is lined with restaurants ranging from snug coffee houses to sleek ethnic eateries, interspersed with eclectic art galleries and bookshops. Those looking to spend the night can choose from a wonderful spectrum of accommodation including internationally renowned auberges, guest houses, self-catering cottages on wine farms and much more besides.
A very good example of superb Cape Winelands accommodation, Klein Genot Wine and Country Estate is a location where Feng Shui philosophy meets farmstyle hospitality in breathtaking surroundings. When Angie and Joey Diamond first stumbled upon the property in 1999 it was in a sorry state. Previously part of the Swiss Farm Excelsior Estate, it was sectioned off, put up for sale and left neglected when it failed to sell. Luckily, the Diamonds are people of great vision and were able to see the potential hidden beneath the weeds.

Angie and a team of workers spent the larger part of a year ridding the property of approximately 25 000 alien trees that were replaced with 20 hectares of vineyard and a large orchard. Growing up in Namibia, Angie and her siblings used to be able to pick fruit from their bedroom windows – an experience she wanted to recreate for her visitors. The Klein Genot main house is divided into six beautifully appointed suites, each individually decorated with Angie’s personal collection of art and antiques and complemented with large designer bathrooms.

The grounds have been kept mostly natural. The Diamonds believe in living in harmony with nature and Angie quickly decided that overt landscaping would spoil the estate’s tranquil ambience. Instead they merely cleaned it up, uncovering lush lawns and highlighting the amazing 300-year old yellowwoods and oaks that were being choked by the alien foliage. The rivers were unblocked and the banks cleaned up in order to give visitors access to a riverside walkway – perfect for leisurely afternoon strolls.

Although not perfectly organic, the estate takes care to grow their produce by the most natural means possible. They recycle, save electricity and water and steadily adds to the estate’s water-wise indigenous foliage in order to reach their goal of being as close to carbon-neutral as possible by 2012. In season everything served at Klein Genot comes from the garden. Herbs, seasoning, jams, juices, chicken, eggs, honey, even right down to the mustard! Every egg served as part of a legendary Klein Genot breakfast is gathered from the yard, even in winter time when they are compelled to resort to store-bough eggs for their baking. Speaking of which, the smell of freshly baked bread that permeates Klein Genot’s main building is enough to make anyone salivate like an overexcited spaniel! Honey is harvested from the fixed-frame beehives that they share with their neighbors. Driving along the winding country road on your way into the estate you can glimpse the beehives, abuzz with activity, nestled among the fruit trees across the way.

A Franschhoek hotel like no other, Klein Genot is most certainly worth a visit. Even if you don’t feel like staying over, you can simply pop around for a wine tasting at their new cellar or a quick bite at the estate’s restaurant, Genot, that boasts an inviting a la carte menu and also supplies picnic baskets that can be enjoyed at the myriad of picnicking spots along the river.

Overcharging hounds of hell

Why do these scummy taxi drivers want to rip off both tourists and locals ? Cape Town travel used to be simple. Phone a Rikki, hop on board and pay R10 when the journey is complete. No more. Rikki’s cost R35 to go anywhere (thanks to the fervent modernization of their cabs) and the drivers are insufferable bores, wanting a full description of your life.

Now, my girlfriend took a cab yesterday and the driver gave her a cursory glance, decided that she was a foreigner and almost charged her R40 for a 2 minute drive. Ludicrous, if she had not moaned at the twerp it would have remained that way as well. It is your right to argue and get your money’s worth. Humble readers, enjoy your day.

Interior view of the new stadium

2010 draws near. What was once a dream, is now a reality and investors, developers and businessman are scrambling to take advantage of what will most likely be an incredibly lucrative investment. Our glorious Green Point stadium is currently underway and is looking to be the an amazing breakfast-bowl shaped stadium. There are other stadiums being built throughout South Africa, but this is a Cape Town centric blog and other provinces are null and void in my eyes. Currently, there are numerous Cape Town tours you can take to view the incomplete stadium. They are very reasonably priced [around R40] and are easy to arrange.

Like most Capetonians, I was hesitant at first to accept this potential eyesore into my city. What is the purpose of wasting billions of rands on a stadium that will only be used for one month? We have a great history of neglecting our once proud buildings [see the Good Hope Centre post] and I am not looking forward to the massive influx of tourists crowding my local McDonald’s.But what use is progress if the growth and development of our town cannot be fully realized? I will embrace the rapid growth of my city and the rabid throngs of tourists, hungry for wooden giraffes and paintings of old African men.